I always find it funny when people lie. The reason the lie is either it's intinct or there scared to tell the truth. But to be completely honest I don't care if you are going to hurt my feelings tell me the truth it will hurt more if you lie to me. I'm just so sick of having to sort through everybody's lies. It's to cover the truth either they want to fool you or have fooled themselves into believing that they have fooled you. It's been a while since I've been fooled by somebody's dumb lie. And I just honestly feel bad for everybody who lies to me. I could be a good friend to you but instead you decide to lie because you're a coward. All liars are cowards deep down inside.

"Why does anyone lie? Cause your scared or crazy or just mean. I mean there's a million reason to lie, Noveline. But sometimes you tell a lie so big it changes your whole life. A lie so big it makes you think you'd do anything to take it back."-where the heart is

Note to Self, again: When you're taking Max on a hike and there's a horsetrailer parked in the lot, take the hint and do not take him on a walk on that trail. Otherwise you will have to sprint up the big ass hill you just walked down in your flip flops with Max lagging behind after noticing two big horses galloping your way. Also bring tennis shoes next time.

I feel special and important. To somebody I am a somebody. I've not felt this way since I was a kid and it feels right. For once everything is right, everything feels like it's supposed to feel. Everything. He's my everything.

Have you ever had such strong feelings for somebody that you felt everytime you thought about him the thought of him just holding you took your breath away or that you missed so much it hurt or even sometimes just thinking about him makes you smile? Yeah I know that feeling, I'm sure you could tell that already though.

Well a horrible night last night that I have no recollection of at all followed by a crappy day ended up to be a pretty amazing day spent with my man. Note to self: When drinking do not drink captains and vodka together. Also do not I repeat DO NOT throw up all over the place in a hotel room put your boyfriends clothes on and take a shower in them and then cry for two hours. And when he puts you in the bed don't slap him and then throw up on both beds forcing him to sleep on the ground. Because in the morning when your told what happened by the guy your dating who took care of you the entire night you will feel so incredibly dumb and horrible for putting him through that. All in all today was amazing he invited me over for dinner at his parents house I love being with him. I'm always happy.

Note to Self: When giving your dog eye drops it may take the whole day. So clear out your busy day and make sure to do a sneak attack on your dog.

"He's behind he'll never catch up. Ever! He missed the bus and it's not coming back. Sorry dude best hitch hike." April you crack me up!!

Pity. It's a shame. I feel bad for all the people out there who have no life and like to start drama between people. They start drama between other people because those people happen to actually have a life and care about other people. What a shame. I feel bad for you.

Work was bizarre today. I got serenaded by a guy wearing the flag and knelt down in front of me then he gets up and makes his buddy do push ups for me. Oh how I love all you drunken concert goers.

Working Insomnia

Ah work, how I loathe and love you. I hate the fact that I have insomnia so I'm always tired for you and how you stress me out with everybody you employ. But I love the fact that I get paid, and I actually like working!

Karma. I do believe karma is going to eventually kick my ass. Not that I've done anything wrong but what I've thought about doing. Karma and I are going to become best friends. I can feel it.

Well I went into the doctor's office today and ended up having to go to children's hospital to get a blood test done. I've never gotten blood drawn and I have a fear of blood. It took my mom and I an hour and a half to figure out where this place was at. The whole time I was nervous. We get to the place finally I almost have a panic attack while waiting they call me back. It ended up taking 2 tech's to find my veins and they ended up taking blood from my right hand which ended up coming very slow and swelling up. They went to get an RN and she couldnt find my veins either so she took it from my left hand. I felt like throwing up and passing out. My mom after bought me some food my hand is still swelled and killing me and I'm in my bed about to pass out. I'd say today was quite eventful.

Love is The Thing.

Love. The thing that most people are looking for. Maybe the reason people want to find it so much is to not be alone. Maybe it's because it's the closest thing we have to magic. Maybe it's just like the saying it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before.



All I know is that I am in love. It sounds corny and weird maybe to some people who know me. But I really am in love. I feel it. Every time he holds me or just kisses me, even when he kisses my forehead. I can just feel it. I truly am in love with him. My boyfriend is who I am in love with. It's crazy, I wasn't expecting to fall in love with him, but I am head over heels in love with him. Tell me if you know how this feels, because I find myself seeing him even in my dreams. The dreams are good dreams, but it's so crazy. This feeling is crazy. I am crazy in love. In love. So deeply in love. I love him so much. I made a list of pros and cons and there's like 53 pro's on it, and only 1 con. I can't find any flaw in him. The only con is a con I have with everybody the anger.



I hate how angry people get some times. I don't like arguing either. But that's for obvious reasons.

Anyway I just wanted to write this blog post on how in love I am. This feeling is beyond explainable. I just wanted it out there. There will be more to come on this feeling and I will probably write my list on my blog about the pros and cons. The pros definately outweigh the cons. But anyway. I'm very in love, and wanted people to know. Haha.

The sea is Inspirational.

Water has always been an inspiration to my life. It inspires me to live on. Water reminds me that no matter what the sea of life brings to your shore, the sea of life will find a way to take it back. Much like in life, when life throws something at us, we tend to either forget about it, or do something to balance it out. I figure since my sign is a pisces, which is a water sign, that's why the sea and I connect so much. I find the waves calming and relaxing. Sure, the waves will knock me down, pull me under, and sometimes make me almost drown, but I will survive. I will be a suvivor story. That's how this works. My life. How I am going to survive everything this life throws at me. Because if I'm a survivor in this life, than in my next life, who knows? Maybe I will be fortunate enough to where I don't need to try and survive, but just let life hit me in a way that's not so negative, and not so bad.



Although, my life isn't as bad as it may seem. I am not homeless, or come from a poor family. I come from a middle class family, have a house and a car. But me, myself, as a person...I'm broke. I'm broken. I'v been broken before and pulled myself up as well as others with me. I know I can make it, I will. I have that confidence in me. I'm a broke college student who is trying to find my motivation. I've never been motivated to do much, I've quit so many things, as my mom would like to remind me. Here's a list of the things I've quit:

-Ballet -Spanish Club

-Volleyball - Art Club

-Basketball - Dance Team

-Voice lessons - Swimming Lessons

-Guitar lessons - Softball

-Track - Soccer



I think the reason I quit, is because I get so frustrated with myself if I don't get it right the first time. Nobody will ever know how much I put myself down if I don't get it right that first time. They think that because I apparently slack is because I quit, but no, it's because I get sick of putting myself down, and I get so drained from it. I just end up quitting thinking I will never amount to anything. I've not done well in school since my senior year in highschool, and that was the only time I can remember that I did pretty great, getting above a 3.0. I don't know what was different, besides the courses I was taking, but I wish I could get that gpa again. I feel like such a screw up anymore. Life is going by passing me in the fast lane, and I feel like it's going in slow motion anyway.



The sea makes me believe anything is possible. With how many evolving creatures there are everyday, and how many people have survived these killer waves, it makes me think anything is possible. If anything is possible, then I will survive this life. I will survive. I will survive. Don't send me a life guard, because I will survive. I mean, unless he's cute and I end up falling in love. I do believe love is the reason I live. Love is the thing. I'm in love with love. I am also in love with somebody special and close to my heart. Love and the sea will be by survivors in the end.