Water has always been an inspiration to my life. It inspires me to live on. Water reminds me that no matter what the sea of life brings to your shore, the sea of life will find a way to take it back. Much like in life, when life throws something at us, we tend to either forget about it, or do something to balance it out. I figure since my sign is a pisces, which is a water sign, that's why the sea and I connect so much. I find the waves calming and relaxing. Sure, the waves will knock me down, pull me under, and sometimes make me almost drown, but I will survive. I will be a suvivor story. That's how this works. My life. How I am going to survive everything this life throws at me. Because if I'm a survivor in this life, than in my next life, who knows? Maybe I will be fortunate enough to where I don't need to try and survive, but just let life hit me in a way that's not so negative, and not so bad.
Although, my life isn't as bad as it may seem. I am not homeless, or come from a poor family. I come from a middle class family, have a house and a car. But me, myself, as a person...I'm broke. I'm broken. I'v been broken before and pulled myself up as well as others with me. I know I can make it, I will. I have that confidence in me. I'm a broke college student who is trying to find my motivation. I've never been motivated to do much, I've quit so many things, as my mom would like to remind me. Here's a list of the things I've quit:
-Ballet -Spanish Club
-Volleyball - Art Club
-Basketball - Dance Team
-Voice lessons - Swimming Lessons
-Guitar lessons - Softball
-Track - Soccer
I think the reason I quit, is because I get so frustrated with myself if I don't get it right the first time. Nobody will ever know how much I put myself down if I don't get it right that first time. They think that because I apparently slack is because I quit, but no, it's because I get sick of putting myself down, and I get so drained from it. I just end up quitting thinking I will never amount to anything. I've not done well in school since my senior year in highschool, and that was the only time I can remember that I did pretty great, getting above a 3.0. I don't know what was different, besides the courses I was taking, but I wish I could get that gpa again. I feel like such a screw up anymore. Life is going by passing me in the fast lane, and I feel like it's going in slow motion anyway.
The sea makes me believe anything is possible. With how many evolving creatures there are everyday, and how many people have survived these killer waves, it makes me think anything is possible. If anything is possible, then I will survive this life. I will survive. I will survive. Don't send me a life guard, because I will survive. I mean, unless he's cute and I end up falling in love. I do believe love is the reason I live. Love is the thing. I'm in love with love. I am also in love with somebody special and close to my heart. Love and the sea will be by survivors in the end.
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