Life. What's it all about? My life has taken a complete turn recently. I started on my meds obviously, and they've been helping me a lot. I'm ahead in all of my classes. I went to my psychologist appointment yesterday and he told me as soon as I sat down something was different about me. What was different was the question? He told me I seemed more 'mature' and direct about things. I told him life's too short to be nice to everybody all the time, and for what? To get stepped all over on? I don't think so, I've changed within the last 6 months. I used to be a sweet kid, giving people a 2nd chance, and a 4th and a 50th chance, but people never change. They take the chances and don't do anything to change themselves.
I also told him that I've come to the realization that I'm a good person, polite, nice, happy, confident, I have a glowing energy around me all the time now and people are drawn to that. But in addition I've also become more assertive with certain things. I will say 'no' if I have to. This doesn't mean I've become a bitch. Because the true meaning of a bitch is a person who doesn't go through with what they say or just backs out of something at the last minute.
I've also realized that I'm not necessarily searching for somebody to love me, but just for somebody for me to love. If the other person falls in love, truly falls in love with me, that's a plus. Yes, I am still with my boyfriend. And I've fallen in love with him everytime I hear his voice or he wraps his arms around me. But I have to admit right now, I'm not completely in love with him...yet. I still have some walls up, but in time they will come down. Maybe he'll be the bulldozer to my brick wall. Who knows? In time we shall see, but right now I'm just lovin bein with him. And you know what, I'm prepared for heartbreak. I don't think I'll be too messed up about it though, because I've gotten through everything else alright, why should heartbreak matter. It's almost as if my heart has no feeling when it comes to heartbreak. Although, I've never had my heart broken so we shall see,...or not.
Bruno Mars Just the Way You Are- one of the best songs ever! I'm in love with Bruno Mars and my boyfriend makes me feel that way that song is. If somebody would buy me that CD I'd be freakin out!! But I went to my babe's house on Wednesday night and he kept calling me beautiful and everything, I swear at one point he was quoting the song, but he doesn't know it's my favorite song ever.
On to other news my brother got engaged. There getting married in a year. I'm hoping to bring Jake,...but it's not for a while. I'm happy for my brother and his fiance, they've been dating now for I think 3 years, it's about time they got married! I'm sure Kara will make a beautiful bride as well, let's just hope she isn't going to be a bride-zilla...because i don't wanna have to deal with that.
Yesterday April and I went to Macy's, because the day before, we went to Vickie's Secret, and apparently my boobs shrank because of the weight I lost. The lady made me try on a freakin A cup, I was like this isn't going to fit, and hey what do you know? It didn't. So now apparently I'm a 34 B, but my boobs seem to fall out of that. I don't know bras are confusing and I think I should just go to get my bras customized or something.
I also have my cousin's 21st birthday to go to tonight, and I'm pumped, just don't know what to wear. I'm going to ask her, so I don't look too dressed down or up. But it's exciting, I will be 21 in 171 days, or like 5-6 months. I'm pumped. Well that's just an update on everything, more to come soon!
Peace. <3
